Imagine applying for a job at a tech company as a product manager, and you have no clue what product design is; you lie on your CV with experiences that you’re sure you don’t have. You get the job and what do you do?
You fake it till you make it.
“Fake it until you make it” is an aphorism that suggests that by imitating confidence, competence, and an optimistic mindset, a person can realize those qualities in their real life and achieve the results they seek.
This is one of the aphorisms that people use whenever things get tough. This and “everything happens for a reason”
“Fake it till you make it” is a widely-used quote, featured in songs, advice to writers, and most importantly, in psychology. It has its origin in Simon & Garfunkel’s “Fakin’ It”, released in 1968; the song goes “And I know I’m fakin’ it, I’m not makin’ it.” Since then the term has been picked up by many and has been termed in different ways.
However, the concept has existed since the 1920s, when Alfred Adler developed a therapeutic technique that he called “acting as if”. He asserted that “if you want a quality, act as if you already have it”. This strategy allowed his clients to practice alternatives to various dysfunctional behaviors.
Adler’s method is still used today and is often described as role-play, which many of us do each time.
What does fake it till you make it mean?
According to the Urban Dictionary, “fake it till you make it” refers to the act of behaving like you are something so you can become it. I would call it “lying”.
You may wonder; if it basically has a form of dishonesty in it, then why do people keep advocating for it? For example in books, as recently as 2006, the author of The Secret and Seminars on the Law of Attraction said, “To change your entire life, just believe and behave as if you have already attained it”.
But there are dangers to lying about it to yourself and others.
SEE: Perfectionism: What it is and how to cope with it
The rare truth about fake it till you make it
I believe this quote is there to empower you to do what you want. However, it attracts negative traits, like lying.
Lying might seem like an obvious negative interpretation of faking things. But, many people will take the principle of “acting as if” and manifesting their ideal life and self too far. They will refuse to entertain anything that contradicts their belief.
For example, remember what I said about the job interview. You don’t need to tell everyone you already have a job or qualifications you don’t possess. Telling employers, colleagues, and friends you have qualifications you don’t possess will backfire on you. Instead of manifesting the life you desire, you’ll reap the negative rewards of a bad reputation.
It also pushes the notion of not asking for help. When you fake it, you act like you know everything and also avoid help from people. When you refuse to ask questions or admit you don’t know or understand something, you run the risk of appearing inexperienced.
Although, this could also help to keep conversations moving along, When others are nodding along, mirroring their behaviors can help improve the sense of positive connection and belonging in the group.
SEE: 5 signs of maturity
The science behind “fake it till you make it”
Even though there are notions against this, there is also some justification for the “fake it till you make it” saying.
There is evidence that how we think, behave, and even hold our bodies has a positive or negative effect on our mood and how others perceive us. It’s with this in mindset that you can explore positive, ethical ways to “fake it to make it.”
Some people believe that the idea isn’t to fool yourself and others. There is evidence though on what you can do to feel more confident that can make you more confident. And none of them encourage you to pretend that “everything’s fine.”
Related: 70 Relatable Fake Love Quotes For The Brokenhearted
When to not fake it till you make it
You may not know but faking it till you make it also feeds imposter syndrome.
Imposters are people who pretend that they are someone that they’re not, or that they belong somewhere that they don’t. When imposter syndrome kicks in, you feel like you’re faking your success and your qualifications even if you’re not.
You’re continually affirming that you’re a “fake.” This can be especially damaging when you’re already struggling with feelings of unworthiness or doubt that you deserve to be where you are.
Faking it then becomes a permanent part of your facade. This sense that the “real you,” your authentic self, isn’t good enough for where you are is fertile ground for impostor syndrome.
There are two instances of how to not fake it till you make it;
SEE: Imposter Syndrome: What It is, How to Cope With It
You can do it with competencies
Faking competency isn’t about building confidence. Most people will interpret that as flat-out lying. If you don’t have the skills to do a role, pretending that you’re good at it doesn’t help anybody. if you were newly promoted into a role, it’s okay not to know everything. Just be honest that you don’t know everything and where you need support. Nobody expects you to be perfect — but they can’t help you if you pretend to have it all covered.
Expectations
Don’t pretend you know what somebody is expecting from you when you don’t. You may be afraid to reveal that you didn’t understand what someone was asking for, or that you weren’t clear on what the deliverables were in the first place.
You don’t have to tell everybody you know that you’re not feeling confident. But you’d be surprised what happens when you open up to people. When you’re authentic about what you’re dealing with, people will respect you more for the areas that you’re struggling with. Rather than just “acting like” a confident person, these mastery experiences will help you build self-confidence.
It’s through vulnerability and self-awareness that we grow and learns to leave our comfort zones. We shouldn’t be afraid of being seen as less than perfect. Faking it until we make it often contributes to perfectionism and anxiety.
SEE: Laugh your way to motivation: 90+ funny motivational quotes
Conclusion on Fake It Till You Make It
You can master the positive aspects of “fake it until you make it.” And make out to get help. You could mean working on changing your perspective on things.
It’s also good to get advice from a trusted source on practicing acting confident until you feel confident makes you feel like an imposter.
