The Adventures of Portable: The Baboon From The Zoo

Habeeb Okikiola, who goes by the stage name “Portable” is the spark behind a hit song that trended for many months and is still a bop today in certain … spaces.

The Zazoo Zeh crooner recently marked his birthday on the twelfth of March this year. Well, we celebrate our celebrity because he had quite an interesting year. And the show hasn’t stopped.

Let’s run through the basics.

A product of the streets, Portable released “Zazoo” (which you already know unless you’ve been living under a rock) only a little over a year ago. A feat that catapulted him to stardom.

Our instant celebrity went from dancing shaku shaku in ghettos before dozens to dancing on stages in front of thousands. Despite his uncouth appearance and rugged persona, Portable quickly became a fan favorite, so infamous that other giants in the music industry acknowledged him, one of which is our all-time favorite.

The CEO of 30BG, Davido.

Besides “Zazoo”, Portable has produced other catchy tracks. He has an EP which you can download here.

But we are not here to give only praise. As we all know, no one is perfect, not even our celebrities. And our scapegoat today … is the omo ologo himself. The son of almighty shaku shaku.

Read on to see a detailed catalog of Portable’s not-so-finest moments. We know for certain there is a lot more, but for some reason… these are the ones that stand out.

Adventures of Portable

Agba Violence

It is no secret the scandal that erupted on Twitter when a user posted a video showing Portable in action, physically harassing a colleague. A fellow artiste under his record label named Manny Monie.

Who, you said? Well, we’re not sure. He’s not exactly prolific and he’s not the point.

The point is the world saw Portable’s rage and viciousness. Condemnation followed swiftly. People from every zodiac called the “Zazoo” singer all sorts of names except his own. One person outrightly said Portable should be jailed for his actions.

You can watch the video here.

Agba Spidey

When it comes to energy during any performance, we know Portable delivers 110%. But there are times when the energy becomes too… frenzied. When that happens, we cannot help what kind of thoughts were in the brain as he did these moves.

Shina Peller held a concert sometime back in Oyo State. Portable, a guest of honor, was given the stage to perform his newly-released single Azaman. By the way, we try not to be biased, but the song is a bop. We recommend a listen in case you haven’t.

Anyway, Portable was so feverish with a passion no other dancer could match. Hundreds of eyes, including ours, watched him roll on the floor like a doormat. Watched him convulse as if someone was binding and casting. But we saw no pastor. Then Portable got up to dance on a shoulder-high ledge.

It mustn’t have been high enough (though he certainly was) for him, so, his brightest idea?

Be Peter Parker.

He found a towering rafter placed near the stage, and slick with sweat and stupidity, he moved and began climbing the stretch of steel, screaming into the lights of dozens of recording phones.

Now we know that these metal rafters sometimes serve as carriers for cables that power the bulbs over a concert stage. There’s always a tangle of wiring running along the insteps, and sometimes, they are frayed in certain areas. You don’t even want to know the kind of heavy voltage that runs through these naked wires.

Second of all, he was sweating profusely. Easy to slide off the metal when it’s wet. And from that height …

The gods were clearly on Portable’s side that night. Because things could have gone sideways very fast. Maybe Thanatos was even among the crowd, watching.

You can see the full video here.

Portable The Baboon Pt 1

Portable the Baboon. Ah, where do we start?

So, before we discuss the video that brought Portable his new alias, let us brief you on some need-to-know details of events that led to the birth of the name “Portable the Baboon.”

Is Portable a Baboon? Well, we certainly do not think so but who are we to tell a man what he is? We figure it’s a “he who wears the shoe” kind of thing. Maybe it’s his new gender identity; what he identifies as.

“That boy wey I beat, he’s my boy. I’m a boss to him. Oga go beat apprentice na? That one no mean say make Police come say make dem come to arrest you.”

Remember Manny Monie? The not-so-famous colleague (“apprentice“, Portable claims) who was assaulted by Portable in a viral video?

Turned out we hadn’t seen the last of him. What we know for certain: Manny Monie was accused by Portable of being a fraudster (“false charges“, Manny claims) and then harassed for using the record label’s services without offering full payment.

In a recent interview with one of our sources, the ex-worker revealed he’s behind the dilemma that started with Portable days ago. Manny filed a petition to the police, who issued gracious invitations to Portable (a celeb, after all).

But Omologo said no. He rebuffed them all, and we don’t judge him for that. There is no guarantee that others would have acted differently, whether innocent or not.

Portable The Baboon Pt 2

To make the sweet story brief, police officers finally came to make a house call on his newly-opened bar. Shockingly (well, to them), Portable was anything but hospitable. Enraged, the son of almighty shaku shaku harassed and chased them off. He screamed, mindless of the cameras screening, with every conviction that he was a baboon from the zoo.

Words cannot do justice. Better you watch the origin video here.

As expected, Nigerians wasted no time in making several anthems to honor his claim. You can watch a clip here. DJ Ykmule tested his artistry and made a banger. And all over society, in groups and singles, many Nigerians laughed heartily and unceasingly to the hit single “I’m a baboon!” almost like Portable was speaking not just for himself but for them.

Indeed, Portable’s display of not-so-portable madness was a feat that only earned him glory for a night.

For when the police returned, they brought their dragons.

Portable The Baboon Pt 3

They say a picture is worth a thousand words. These tell us plenty. For all his talk of being a wild animal, it would appear that our “baboon” is nothing but a tame monkey. All that energy from his shows and his fights seemed to vanish as he was soon arrested and arraigned in court as his charges were read out to him by a judge who had probably prayed for the opportunity.

As we speak, the whole process is a matter still under deliberation but we will not say much on the subject because we do not want to tender any unfounded information regarding the case. Whatever the situation is, we know one thing for sure. Portable the Baboon has been humbled.

Also, there is the part where Portable claimed impunity on the basis that he was working for the “ruling party”, but let’s do that another time.

A Final Remark From BattaBox

We strongly believe violence in any form shouldn’t be condoned. Lawlessness should be combated, and no one should ever get to feel like they are above the law. Hopefully, Portable understands this now. If not, we guess the baboon might find himself in the zoo much sooner than later.

If you have any comments, let us know below.