We live in a gender-inclusive world now. This is due to the many efforts of people to understand the importance of gender equity and the support of women in all spheres.
But even with all the talk about gender equality, there are still many people who do not support all genders.
Feminism: Let’s talk
For years now, feminism and its true meaning have been a topic of intense controversy. While the prevailing argument is that feminism champions the importance of women over men, its true meaning is actually equality between all sexes.
This means that no while man is higher than a woman, no woman is higher than a man. It means they are equal.
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Luckily, the world has now accepted the terms of feminism. Women are recognized in their career path and they also get to compete for the same position as men. Generally, there is support within the communities.
Let’s talk about the real thing, though; we are advocating for men to support women and pave the way for them. Do women also do the same for their fellow women?
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Women supporting women
Now before you come for me, let me paint you a scenario.
Bola recently became the first female partner in her law firm. Before this happened, she went through a lot because the society in her youth wasn’t as progressive as it is now. It wasn’t an easy journey for her.
Now, meet Sarah who just finished law school and, like Bola, has the potential to move to the top. To make it easy, Bola could help Sarah out, but instead, Bola decides to let her write her own success story. She wants Sarah to go through the same hardship she went through for a long time, because, according to her, it isn’t fair that Sarah gets an easy ride.
Believe it or not, there are women like Bola who would rather watch a woman suffer than make her life easier. In fact, it’s not even limited to women alone; it seems to be a human thing.
When a woman rises in power or status above other women, others start talking behind her back and trying to belittle her.
There are two dominant cultural ideas about the role women play in helping other women advance at work: the Righteous Woman and the Queen Bee.
The Righteous Woman is a belief that women have a distinct moral obligation to have one another’s backs. Have you heard Madeleine Albright’s now famous quote…
If women don’t help each other, this is an even worse form of betrayal than those committed by men. Hence, the special place in hell.
The Queen Bee belief, on the other hand, argues that women just can’t get along.
The idea of the Queen Bee syndrome dates back to the 1970s. The ultimate Queen Bee is the successful woman who instead of using her power to help other women advance, undermines her women colleagues, just like Bola.
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Why do women not support each other?
Unfortunately, not many women support other women. In the workplace, it can be shown in different ways. A woman can exert her influence on another woman, and not necessarily in a good way.
A way a woman can undermine her fellow woman is by passing rumors.
Let’s switch back to Bola. As Bola is now the first female partner in her law firm, this opens up an opportunity to be slut-shamed. Women may accuse her that she either slept her way to the top or might mention that she is not effective enough for a partner.
We not only tear women down by our actions but our words.
Because Bola has gotten her position, she may feel the need to be in constant approval of her superiors. It could be a tactic to keep her position and for others to like her. It doesn’t always have to do about the person’s behavior but with the environment.
Let’s step out of the workplace; women can also be very competitive in their daily lives. When someone looks like they have everything “figured out”, we tend to envy them. But there’s good envy that pushes you to be like that person, and there is another that pushes you to make the person’s life miserable.
A woman can try as much as possible to have what the other woman has and if she cannot get it, she would decide to tarnish the image – gossiping, gaslighting, and much more.
The problem of women not supporting each other will not be resolved until they realize that women coming together for what it is – an important component of business health and success.
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Ways women can support each other
Celebrate her! People underestimate how much “I’m proud of you” or “you did good” messages mean. People love feedback, especially in the workplace. Be sure to celebrate their accomplishments. Send them a card or a heartfelt message.
Also, accomplish something together! People feel great when they accomplish things together. It could be a project in your field. Encourage the help of another woman!
There are millions of ways you can celebrate them! Remember that quote, there is a special place in hell for people who do not support women.
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Conclusion
Don’t be that woman that speaks against other women or that makes it difficult for them to succeed.
Don’t be Bola.
Remember that the sky is enough for everyone to fly! Show your girl power!
