At the beginning of any job, lasting a while is always the goal. Sadly, there are occasions when some jobs turn out to be nothing like what you expected, and you end up regretting them.
You’re not the only one who thinks, “I wish they would just fire me already” when you get up every morning. Some people would like to quit their occupations, but they lack the financial resources to do so.
If you are tired of working to earn a living and you are too shy to put in your resignation letter, then you should read this carefully.
If you have received two queries already this month and you don’t understand why, then this article is also for you.
The good thing about getting fired as opposed to resigning is that you are entitled to severance benefits. These benefits will help keep you afloat till you get a new job.
From coming late to the office to making fun of your boss or workplace, there are really easy ways to lose your job. And in this article, we will explore some of them.
READ: The Different Male Personality Types
Losing Your Job: A Treatise on Getting Fired Pronto
Get to work late every day
This one is as good as gold. Getting to work on time is for suck-ups and people who actually care about their jobs, right? In that case, why not hit your snooze button two or ten times?
And while you finally decide to grace them with your presence, either show up looking like the cat dragged you out of bed or sweep in like a queen. There can be no middle ground.
Also, forget to apologize. You don’t want to feel sorry for something you did intentionally, do you? That’s hypocrisy.
SEE: Types of Bosses in the Nigerian Workspace
Neglect the tasks assigned to you
If you think about it, you actually do not want this job, so why would you even try to do the job?
Take an incredibly long time to finish simple tasks and ensure you complain loudly about how difficult and unnecessary the task is.
This is a sure way to lose your job.
READ: Types Of Employees in Nigerian Workspace
Take really long lunch breaks
Lunch break is 30 minutes? Feel free to take 2 hours. When you are asked why, please tell them that you are a slow eater and you like to give your food time to digest.
If they tell you that your food can digest while you do your job, tell them your system doesn’t work that way.
I can promise you, you will lose your job that day.
READ: Gen Z in the Workplace: How to Handle Them
Start some office gossip
Make sure it’s juicy. The type that will make your boss walk angrily into your office and send you packing. Or do this…
Try not to slander, because that one will land you in jail. But make the gossip so juicy and ensure it can be traced to you. You don’t want someone else getting fired when it’s you that wants to leave.
Another way to easily lose your job is to take credit for someone else’s bad behavior.
SEE: How To Build Professional Development
Spend all day watching YouTube videos
A good way to let everyone know that you don’t have enough work on your plate is to spend the entire day watching videos and sending personal emails to your friends.
Take periodic breaks to tell everyone how bored you are and tell them to “hurry up and get your work done, so you can have some fun with me.”
If dem no sack you, call me bastard.
Do sloppy work
Another way to easily lose your job is by doing sloppy work. If you do not lose your job after forgetting to do your assigned tasks, then ensure you do sloppy work. Let your manager question your capabilities and wonder why the company employed you.
Be really slow with the task and ensure the work is not up to standard. And on top of all that, you should make sure it is filled with very noticeable errors.
Trust me when I say, they will ask for your resignation letter.
SEE: How to Reply to a Query Letter
Ignore your boss’s instructions and do what you want
A very easy way to lose your job is to completely ignore your supervisor’s instructions and do what you like.
Yes, when your manager advises you on your work ethic, attitude, or behavior, do well not to listen. Just go on and do whatever you like.
It is even better when what you like is completely opposite from your superior’s instruction. You will soon find yourself jobless and with recommendations too
READ ALSO: Letter of Permission To Be Absent from Work
Damage company’s resources
Dem keep company resources in your care? You might want to damage it just a bit. Like 85%. Then, refuse to pay for the damages.
While you are at it, go ahead and be intentional about taking responsibility for the damages. But make sure you argue your way out of the payment and suggest that you’d rather lose your job than pay for the damages.
You’re welcome.
Misbehave with clients
If you work in marketing and other customer care services where you have to deal directly with the customers, this tip is for you.
Ignore customers’ queries, and talk rudely to the clients. In fact, lose your patience with the customers, and tell them point blank that they are wrong.
If you are not out of that job by the end of that day, come and drag me by the hair in my armpits.
SEE: Common Job Interview Questions and Answers
Curse out your boss
If at this point you haven’t lost your job, then you need to bring out the big guns.
Drop the S-word, the B-word, and the F-bomb in rapid succession on your boss, ideally in front of clients. If possible, add a few native dialect curses here and there. You can also use this as a last resort…
It will 100% do the trick.
Easiest ways to lose your job: In conclusion…
These tips are for people who are tired of working. People who prefer not to earn a living, who aspire to have nothing in their bank account through legal means.
Those of us who still really want to make it in life, socially and economically, please stay away from these tips. In fact, do the exact opposite of everything written here.
The economy of the country is already hard, let’s try not to end up jobless. And for those of you who need the tips, if you aren’t jobless after following all of these, feel free to find me and come and beat me.
You are welcome.
